We all have problems. It is not peculiar to you, don’t make yourself pitiable. Jesus has delivered us from all the labels. One thing I have learned from my years and experience as a Pastor, and in the corridors of marriage counselling is the fact that those who are married are wishing they were not married, when I ask them why the answers have always been the same; “Those who are not married are free, their time is theirs and unfortunately they don’t appreciate what they have.”
On the other hand, those who are not married are always complaining of being single and just want to get married. For example, at our last Sunday meeting on April 07th, 2019, a man walked up to me in the office and said “Pastor Look at me, I am over forty and not married. It’s becoming ridiculous and embarrassing.” He wants to get married while others want to get out of theirs, so you see the challenges of life are not there because of your status. There will always be challenges and whatever our status we should appreciate God, then the pressure will be eased off and we will be rightly positioned for God’s continuous blessings.
Paul taught explicitly on this issue of marriage and singlehood in 1Cor 7. In 1 Corinthians 7:8-9, Paul advised the single to remain unmarried except where they cannot withstand the pressure of sexual passion so we can see clearly that not all will be married, there will always be single people amongst us. In 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, he addressed the married believers; here he stated clearly that in such a setting, divorce is not an option and where it happens the parties must remain unmarried.
While in 1 Cor 7:12-13 he addressed the case of marriage between a believer and unbeliever, he states here that as much as possible you must make the marriage work. The onus here is much more on the believer; as long as the unbeliever is willing to remain in the marriage then the brother/sister must do everything to help the marriage, but where in spite of their best efforts (bringing Christian virtues to bear), the unbeliever chooses to leave the marriage then the brother/ sister is free; in which case they can remarry. Going back to our original scripture, 2 Cor 4:7-8 says “We have this treasure….. not in despair” now we understand that pressures of life will come whether married or not, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Whatever your status know that there is a reason for it and in line with the scripture that says in all things give thanks, start to cultivate the habit of thanking God wherever you are. There is a reason why I am where I am today, God does not make mistakes.
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